Keep up-to-date with the latest and greatest digital and traditional marketing and advertising from around the globe.



Steve, don't eat it!

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One of the funniest things I've read in a long, long time. Absolute brilliance.

Sample:

I force-fed myself a big ol' spoonful, and found it to be slightly rancid and extremely bitter. Unfortunately, swallowing didn't help dissipate the flavor because the strings of bean jizz melted, coating my mouth and lips with a glistening sheen of sadness.

The entire experience is difficult to describe, but if you can remember back to the very first time you made out with a hobo's ass, it's a lot like that.

What I find most hilarious is that there is an expiration date on the package. What could they possibly expect to happen to the product on this date THAT HAS NOT ALREADY OCCURRED?!!!

Also, nestled in this mound of compost was a li'l packet of mustard. In its place, I would strongly suggest a written apology.




Read more at Steve, don't eat it!


Nokia aiming to reinvent itself as an "Internet company"

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NOTE: This is a good thing people. Read below


Nokia aiming to reinvent itself as an "Internet company"

During Nokia's annual shareholder meeting yesterday, CEO Olli-Pekka Kallasvuo seemed to change the direction of the entire company. "Our goal is to act less like a traditional manufacturer, and more like an internet company," Kallasvuo told his shareholders. "Companies such as Apple, Google, and Microsoft are not our traditional competitors, but they are major forces that must be reckoned with. Make no mistake: We are taking on these challenges seriously and aggressively."

That's a refreshingly open-minded attitude from the leader of a global technology powerhouse. Kallasvuo is effectively saying that the times, they are a-changin', and Nokia must look in unexpected places for the ideas that will take the company into the next paradigm. All three of the mentioned companies are tough competitors with designs on the smartphone (or voice-enabled portable computer) market.

To get started in that transition, Nokia has reorganized into two reportable segments: devices and services, which is the sum of three divisions under the previous system (mobile phones, multimedia, and enterprise solutions) and an unchanged Nokia Siemens networks segment, also known as infrastructure. The pending acquisition of GPS specialist Navteq promises to take Nokia into new markets, such as navigation systems for pedestrians and location-based mobile advertising.

"When we look at it with the eyes we have now, when regarding pedestrian navigation, map services, digital maps, we are even more excited about the opportunities than when making the decision" to buy Navteq, said Kallasvuo. "I ask for some more patience from the shareholders. There is quite a lot better to be seen ahead."

It sounds like Nokia is going to spend less time on hardware design, new distinct handset models, and so forth (though I'd be shocked if the company gave up on hardware entirely), in favor of more and better software. We may be headed for a future where hardware platforms have mostly cosmetic differences and different usability choices, and the real difference lies in the included or installable software—and Nokia may have a leg up with its Comes With Music initiative. Nokia is up against the ever-popular BlackBerry interface, Apple's iPhone smash hit, and Google's upcoming Android openness. Will Nokia shoot for business dominance or consumer-level features? Given the excitement about Navteq, I suspect it's more of the latter than the former.

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Live lobster claw game

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Wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.



What the f*ck? Loo loo

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Who knew bidets could be so much fun?!

Nuts.

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World's longest foosball table

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Neatorama » Blog Archive » World’s Longest Foosball Table

This thing's nuts! I'm really, really bad at foosball but you gotta admit that this is pretty cool :)


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Interacting with Microsoft Surface at the AT&T Store

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Not a revolutionary video, but good to see that a morfe natural way of interacting is emerging. I hate keyboards and mice. Who the hell communicates 1 letter at a time?

Multi-grope: Interacting with Microsoft Surface at the AT&T Store


Large Hadron Collider (LHC) sued :)

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Genuis. Now, the prospect of the LHC scares the p*ss out of me too. As a subscriber to New Scientist I get to read about all the hilarious possibly-world-ending japes that those whacky guys in white coats get up to (those little imps). The LHC is a hilarious example of blowing £2.6 billion on a 17-mile-long particle accelerator (Great Scott!) to smash tiny particles into teeny, tiny bits at speeds that would make Doc Brown get a wet patch in his tweed.

The fears are that a) it could generate a black hole that will suck the Earth in on itself. Dyson have already applied to use the technology in their new vaccuum cleaner by the way. Or b) it could convert all matter (that's you, me, Mr T and without doubt all the kittens in the world) into strange matter (cue science-fiction wooo-ahhhh-wooooo music) which would be a bugger because no-one knows what that would be like and it's almost certain that Snickers would no longer be as tasty, although perhaps they'd taste as good as they did when they were Marathon.

Point is, no-one has a Scooby-Doo what the bloody hell will happen. That's quite exciting to me. Whilst I'd miss my girlfriend, my family and friends, the prospect of eliminating all the other crap in the world (think Big Brother, Paris Hilton and the London Metro free-paper) is exciting to me.

These guys have taken their fear to the next level and decided to sue the LHC (can you sue a machine? Maybe that's what we need to do when Skynet gets built).

Read about it here.


The last meal on the Titanic

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This is strangely poignant. A menu of the very last meal served to the passengers of R.M.S. Titanic. I like stuff like this - I can just imagine the passengers sitting down, coo-ing at the wonderful delicacies being served to them. There was probably some snooty (actually, probably a few) git moaning about the lamb being overdone, completely oblivious to the fact that in the grand scheme of things, it just ain't worth worrying about. F*ck off great big hunks of ice hurtling towards them (do icebergs hurtle? Actually, I doubt it).



Thanks cookingmonster.


Producers in advertising.

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Yep. We're great :)

(by Ted Royer, executive creative director of droga5, New York)

Producers are great. They are my favourite people in
advertising. And I want to marry one. Since every
single person I've met over the last 15 years works in
advertising or some related industry, I've realized
that I'm destined to marry an ad person. After a brief
panic attack, I thought about producers and felt much
better. I want to marry a producer.
I don't want to marry an account services person.
Sure, they can take lots of pressure and abuse from
the world, and they're organized (a definite
prerequisite for my future spouse), but we'd quickly
realize that while we share many goals, ultimately,
she may not care enough about my goals. And caring
about my goals, or at least seeming to, is very
important.

I'm not going to marry a traffic person. They propel
jobs through the agency and thus are obviously good at
getting stuff done. But they cry too much. Or they
yell too much. Or they cry while yelling. There is
crying and yelling at some point in every marriage. I
wish to keep it to the bare minimum in mine.

Marrying another creative seems like a great idea. We
would laugh together. We would dream together. We
would make amazing plans together. But we wouldn't
know how to get any of those plans done or how to
actually make anything happen. And then we would blame
each other.

I could marry one of my clients. We would have a great
initial relationship. She would find me really funny
and inventive, but over time, she might begin to doubt
my motives and commitment. And she'd be right. Am I
bored? Am I ultimately looking to trade up? Am I
looking for a newer, fresher challenge? I'd be coy and
say no. But the real answer would be... maybe.

No, I want to marry a producer. A producer listens to
the most batshit crazy idea and doesn't say yes or no
or ask why, but instantly asks "How?" She could talk
me out of dumb things with grace and logic, or
conversely show me what it's possible to do with
virtually nothing. A producer realizes that just as
business and creativity need each other,
responsibility (her) and irresponsibility (me) do too.
A producer wouldn't be afraid of different challenges,
no matter what form they took. A producer would be
tough, fighting battles I'd neither see nor even know
about. A producer would plan for a rainy day and not
even tell me she was doing it and then, when it
started to rain, she'd say, "It's covered, go over to
the food table." A producer would stay up all night
partying with me, then make sure what needs to get
done gets done, while I sleep. Marrying a producer
would allow me to be as self-absorbed, self-indulgent,
self-congratulatory, naval-gazing and "creative" as I
want to be.

Of course, I could always date someone outside of the
industry and see what the rest of the world is like.
But that would be weird.


The Black Keys - free full concert video

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I've seen these guys about 3 or 4 times now, New York and London and they are one of my all-time favourite bands.

Found a site with a full vid I can embed (which I now need to work out how to nick :) )

Check it out. Enjoy.

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HCI musings...

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I'm reading Donald Norman's The Invisible Computer: Why Good Products Can Fail, the Personal Computer Is So Complex and Information Appliances Are the Solution.

Now, apart from the fact that the man needs a good talking to regarding the length of his book titles (maybe long titles were cool back in '99 when he wrote it - like pony-tails on men or something), it's an interesting read. Norman worked for Apple (his full background is on Wikipedia) and is now the Norman of the Nielsen Norman Group, arguably the world's foremost authority on usability and HCI.

I'm very interested in HCI right now, given that I've been describing myself as a digital native for some time; meaning it's all I've ever done professionally. It's second nature to me, and for many people and it's fascinating to me to explore the cognitive and sociological changes and influence that computers - in all their iterations - have.

Rolf Skyberg is someone I reference quite regularly. Not only does he have possibly the coolest job title in the world (Disruptive Innovator for eBay :)) but I agree with much of his writing and find it a rich source of interest.

A friend of mine - also a Senior Project Manager - turned me onto Microsoft OneNote a while back. To quote her: "It's the only genuinely decent product Microsoft have made". And I have to agree; I use it regularly now. I recently sent her a video of a newly released digital pen that allows you to make notes in natural writing and then transfer it seamlessly to OneNote. Perfect for me - I still prefer the speed and short-notes I can make with writing.

Where's this post going? No idea. Well, sort of. But as usual my mind's gone off on tangents of tangents. My friend Vanessa described herself as an 'early adopter' so would love to try out the pen. Rolf Skyberg's latest post talks of product improvements vs. marketing need vs. customer need in technology. All of which - technology development, early adoption etc, is covered in Donald Norman's book.

I guess it's a cyclic post. It just freaks me out sometimes how - when you start to learn about something new to you - it seems to appear everywhere :)

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Being an ex-Actionscripter, I love decent Flash work and this game is superb. A few people have been releasing Flash physics games but this is a great, simple example with no over-complication. It's reminiscent of the beautiful OriSinal games.

Play the Magic Pen game


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Buttock-enhancing briefs

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Okay then.



Thanks AdRants. I think.

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Mental mixer app in Flash 9

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This is nuts. Very nicely done - I can't work out how to save the file though (if you can) but my riddims is sick, innit?

Warning: You'll need to accept the Java applet to get this to work. It's worth it though.

http://www.hobnox.com/index.1056.en.html


What God really said to Adam & Eve

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Brilliant :)




Countdown to me unleashing hell on New York... again

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HCI quote of the day

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That means "Human Computer Interaction" tech-noobs :)

"The prevailing computer-human interaction (CHI) model of interface design has been partly responsible for the current state of the desktop computer. The breakthrough on which the field emerged was the admission of psychological principles. The resulting graphical user interface has been the focus of the field of computer-human interaction for nearly 20 years. This interface is a virtual control panel whose design has remained quite technology-centered."

-- Malcolm McCullough, Digital Ground, 2004


Couldn't agree more. Was discussing last night how Microsoft Windows is based on real-world principles of filing systems (files, folders, the desktop itself). But - considering the quotation above - that's where it ends.

Thanks interaction-design.org

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Web 2.0 venture deals on the rise

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Can you say "return of the dot bomb"?

I was made redundant from 3 jobs in a row between 2000 and 2003, so I'm naturally nervous about this. Venture capitalists jumped on the web in the 90s as it promised new and exciting things. Which it delivered. But few of them make real money. I really, really, really, really (really) hope that VCs aren't being led stupidly down an amazingly similar garden path, next door to the one they went down not 10 years ago. Web 2.0, social networks, mash-ups, open source, yadda-yadda does not = money. In fact, at the moment, it's even harder to make money out of things like social networks.

Whereas in the 90s era (web 1.0), web was storefront; people expected to see "product X - you'll love it - it's £19.99" I do not believe for a second that web 2.0 offers the same prospects. If you consider networks such as Facebook and MySpace et al as social arenas, then think of them as groups of people at a party. The conversation ebbs and flows as they move from topic to topic, interweaving inside jokes and winks. Then you come along with a fuck off great big placard, wriggle your way in yelling "buy our shampoo - it's only £19.99". Seem weird? Well, that's exactly how it feels to me when I see people trying to do it in these arenas.



Dooooom!!!!!




End of the woooooooooorld!!!!!

Thanks TechCrunch

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Proposal on Twitter

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So, after my previous post musing on the sociological need that Twitter might be fulfilling, there now seems to have been a mariage proposal via the site.

Crappy way to do it in my opinion, but you can't deny the numerous ways that even young, budding digital systems/networks are hijacking centuries old traditions. Then again, plenty of people in the (80's?) wrote proposals in the sky using aeroplanes & smoke so maybe I'm not seeing the bigger picture. Maybe it's just more expansive ways of doing the same thing.

Thanks Mashable

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Pseudo-psychobabble

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I saw Twitter described as a "presence app" today; a pretty good description in my view. I've been struggling to pigeon-hole this phenomenon for a while now, performing the classic 'I don't do it so I don't get it' ritual so many people (that I rip the piss out of) are fond of. Damn.

And yet, there's more to it than that. I think what baffles me is the sociological/psychological need that things such as Twitter fulfil. Ego? Unlikely - it's not very narcissistic either, describing one's life in single sentences. So maybe "presence app" is a good description because that's what it gives people. Presence. A tangible realisation that they exist, that the mundane aspects of their lives they hate to do actually, at least, mean they exist.


Chuck Norris action jeans

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Gonna get me a pair of these bad boys and get some karate action going. Hiyaa. Etc.


Excellent Web 2.0 presentation

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Web2.0: Why we got here and what's next

From: rolfsky, 1 month ago



What is Web 2.0 and why are we so excited by it? How should it affect business decisions?

SlideShare Link


Watch the monkey!

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Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

I'm becoming more-and-more a fan of outdoor innovation (although I don't seem to see huge amounts of it in London). This idea is fabulously simple - take something existing and transform it into something hugely recognisable by millions of gamers. Perfectly targetted for your target audience? Check. Fun? Check. Innovative? Check. Makes you wish you'd come up with such a simple idea yourself? Check. Dammit.

Computer Game Museum: Donkey Kong Scaffold | Ads of the World

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Offline TV needs to wake up... fast

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Great article linked below - I've been saying exactly the same thing for a long, long time now. This lack of realisation of what is happening in the world when it comes to media is what frustrated me most about my own industry (advertising & marketing) and one of the reasons I am looking to now be a part of the creative process; in the hope that I can influence the end result and make use of the all the great technology and trends out there.

What offline TV and music (RIAA) failed to do on every level, was to realise that as soon as Napster and pals came along, the deal was done. Music was 100% inevitably going to be delivered via the Web and Internet, TV was then destined to do the same as broadband uptake increased. I briefly thought that ABC & News.Corp's Hulu move was a sign of them finally taking advantage of the situation, instead of fighting it. But, alas it would appear not. And whilst the RIAA continues to fight against a tidal wave of consumer preference, people will continue to pirate what they want.

Combating Piracy: Earth To Big TV

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I'm back!

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Sorry for the hiatus - I use ScribeFire to blog with as it's very quick and easy and I love FireFox to bits. But when I recently gave this blog its own URL (instead of the old ukleon.blogspot.com) I also ran the post feed through Feedburner. Seems old ScribeFire didn't like this and stopped working, but I reverted and it's fine now. Expect more digital marketing stuff to be blogged again!

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